| I
think I should go into game
testing, I really do. First
time through on the last few
games I've played, I've found
some horrendous glitches. Really
appalling, some irritating,
but most quite funny actually.
I stumble upon them accidently,
totally unaware that a game-ruining
bug is just round the corner.
Glitches
and bugs are due to bad programming,
and I have to say it, bad testers.
Not all the blame can be piled
onto the overstressed programmers.
Testers are meant to check over
every portion of the game -
"What happens when I do
this?" They have to be
thorough. Every angle explored,
every wall run into, every feature
checked over and over again.
You see, there are gamers like
myself around. I like to see
what a character can do. Like
see how fast I can make them
run around in a circle, what
happens if I keep pressing this
button? Is that bit of terrain
there jumpable? Like any good
gamer really! But this sort
of behaivour leads to the fabled
"glitch heaven". I'm
sure most avid games players
have stumbled across it from
one time or another.
Here
is a list of my all time favourite/most
annoying glitches:
BLOOD
OMEN 2 - Replay through
the game with the legendary
Soul Reaver, and during key
cutscenes, instead of resting
against Kain's back, it sticks
through his right shoulder.
And is hollow, as the reaver
itself glitches, and we often
see the insides of it - a sword!!!
Also during the end boss fight,
for a few seconds there were
2 Sarafan lords..... he has
a twin??
PRIMAL
- Has a tendency to glitch
during the talking scenes. A
character will suddenly repeat
"Ok" around ten times
(is quite hilarious, but also
disturbing after a while). As
my sister said, "What's
with the what's with the what's
with the glitchin' stuff, Scree?"
TOMB
RAIDER SERIES - Where to
begin?? Ok, whilst playing TR4,
driving a jeep, I went flying
off a cliff, and managed to
somehow crash the vehicle mid-air
into nothing, but still make
revving sounds and all. In the
latest PS2 incarnation, press
the 'lovely' Ms Croft up against
a wall, and you'll see the inside
of her head, and these big round
eyes staring back at you......quite
scary. She also has a tendancy
to fall through floors....
SOUL
REAVER 2 - Right near the
beginning in the Sarafan hold,
on the otherside of a big gate,
is a fantasic-looking stained
glass window (which you see
properly later on in the game).
Being the impatient bint that
I was, I wanted to see it straight
away, and managed to glitch
over the top of the gate, and
have a closer look at the window.
Nice. Now to get out. Oh damn,
the gate is too high to jump
over! I'm stuck! Shall have
to restart and start again!
An extremely annoying glitch,
that one.
HALF
LIFE - During the training
level, had a guard following
me, and thought I'd be greedy
and ask a scientist to follow
me as well. The guy ran right
into me, and the 2 character
models must have melded together,
as when I looked down, had the
feet of the scientist (though
there was still footsteps sounding!).
I looked up, and I was looking
straight up the scientist's
legs, at his bloody groin! And
we couldn't move either, so
I had to restart.
Glitches
are a part of life in the gaming
world. Some of the above are
quite unforgivable, and I must
say, the biggest culprit is
Blood Omen 2. NEVER have I played
a game with so many gawdawful
glitches. But here lies the
problem....without the glitches,
the game would be extremely
mediocre. With them, I love
it to bits! The whole Sebastian
boss fight, with the terribly
misplaced dubbing, the awful
character animations, and
then the disco ball death........I'll
never forget it. Without them,
the game would have been condemned
to the bottom of the pile. Like
Zone of the Enders. Tch.
I
don't really know what I'm trying
to say here. Glitches are both
good and bad, it really depends
what you're playing, the context
in which you play it, and basically
how much you love that series.
We've all come to expect bugs
in the Tomb Raider series, but
seeing them in such a high class
game as Primal was disappointing.
To find a bug in the Final Fantasy
series would drive me to tears.
But finding bugs in the Legacy
of Kain games has become a highlight
for me, they're to be expected
after all!
So
game companies, if you're looking
for any serious games testers,
then I'm your girl! I'll actual
*play* the game all the way
through, multiple times (unlike
that Blood Ome 2 lot!), and
who knows,you might have a glitch-free
game on your hands. Then again,
wouldn't it be funny to leave
a really horrid glitch in....?
*Is sacked on her first day*
(If
anyone has some other funny
glitch stories, I'd happily
post them here!)
MORE
GLITCHES (COS YOU CAN NEVER
HAVE ENOUGH!):
FINAL
FANTASY VII (PC) - The world
map music has a habit of glitching,
getting caught on a small bit
of music, and repeating, and
repeating, and repeating
.
HALF LIFE- Often has the habit
of inserting the footsteps of
more than one person, so when
running along, I can never be
sure if those damned ninja women
are onto me, or if it's just
the game messing about again.
FINAL FANTASY VII (PC) - On
the load up screen, the little
gloved hand has a life of its
own, and will leave me screaming
in rage when it "accidently"
selects New Game instead of
Load
urghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
SOUL REAVER - (Seen while watching
my friend John play). An enemy
somehow glitched whilst in mid-air,
and high above the character
of Raziel, was vainly trying
to attack him. Was quite a disturbing
sight.
ALL
OF THE TOMB RAIDER SERIES
Thanks to John
for the sexshy pic of glitching
Kain you see above! |