The heavens opened up, and these words of insight did I hear spake! People say things randomly, often without thinking about their words first. In the case of my friends, that's quite often! Featured here are my friends John and Louse, my dad (Vater), mum, and my foolish sister, Asti. As I not-surprisingly speak to the bunch alot, this place will always be updated! John is in the lead, go John! I owe this idea to my freunde David, who keeps a book at uni of all our misquotes. David, get yourself a site, and put em up! I, of course, *never* say anything stupid, so am not featured here. ONWARDS!!

ASTI
"Lara Croft and the Temple of Glitch!"
"79? She's not that young!"
*Points at Sainsburys bag* "Where'd you get that?"
"Toom Raider"
"A door is key"
Miss Hardbroom says "Any questions?" Asti replies "Yeah, that's crap!"
"You should goggle? You should Chicago?" YOU SHOULD GURGLE!
"Make sure she dies exposing her cleavage to the world!"
"Do you know what I shouted so boubly?!"
"Tomorrow it's gonna be a mixture of rain and showers."
"Then I ran to the window and landed on my broken back!" Already?
"Mully and Sculder"
"Carrots of the Parribean" Tasty!
Say something meanerful!" Yeah c'mon!
"Selin selection"
"Where's the fucking Krankies?!" That's a new low, Asti….
"Stumthing!"
"Basic insink"
"She causeway?"
"Gobstock!"
"It was a dark black…." Not light?
"Return of the Kind." The newly titled LOTR film, in which an army of kind people spread kindness across MiddleEarth
"And you said vooooooooooooooov or whatever."
"Billiant!"
"Oaklahoma."
"There's plenty of people who go to Manhatten Nails to get their nails done, like Sauron and Saruman."
"She's the noisiest eater on the planet, next to a donkey." Gossip on an unnamed family member!
"They found the 5 most ugliest people in Britain to play the Dr Who's!" Bwahahahahahah!!!
"Dave the Triffid!"
"International talk-like-a-pirate day!"
"And then he bringed it up to the counter."
"Billy Colony." That's a nasty thought....
"Adrian Smith?" AGENT Smith!!!!!
"Dominatrix ancestory."
"Hambulance."
"How the fuck did he lose his jaw but not his nose and ears?! Fell off on the way down??"
"Someone was mewed there!" Ow!
"David Flewlis."
"Spin round, spin round, come into my energy…" Is that an invitation.....?
"I hate whistling s's. I can't do it cos my voice isn't annoying." *Cough*
"e's doin' it! e's doin' it!"
"Halfred Itchcock."
Asti says "It's something I'll never forget!" John says "An elephant never forgets!" Asti says "Asti the elephant went to town and said goodbye to the circus…"
"Mombie zunkies" (zombie monkeys)
"New shangled"
"I dunno what sticks out more - his teeth or his stomach!"
"Christmas isn't over! What happened to the granny!!?"
"It's Javert, Dr Who and Richard O'Brien all in the same pub!" Let me buy Javert a drink!
"I suddenly felt like Simon Cowell….only more masculine."
"C'mon downstairs and help an old lady with her katas." If you say so...
"I'm prancing upon you!"
"The nightmare cast - Michael Crawford as the Phantom, Michael Ball as Raoul, and Barbara Striesand as Christine"
"Was it black-shaped?"
"Lurch up here you fuck!"
"When are you going to fucking marry Mr Snow!?" When the flowers are buzzing with the hum of bees!

JOHN
"Nearly Headness Lick"
"Snakep!"
"Is that white snow?!"
"Lara Seagal"
"Lesterday"
"I blet this is Blood Blomen Blea!"
"Congratulations, you have contracted the plague. Welcome to London!"
"Chin of Enlargio!"
"Madame Difference"
"If I could rub my hands together I would, but I've picked a crumb from my crotch instead!"
"Mickey Mouse and the Lustful Illusions"
"A 4-fingered glove!"
"And then he went ballop!" *Laughs* "That's bang and wallop together!"
"And I laughed so!"
"Camp Olaf!"
*Raziel voice* "Why Kain?! Do you find yourself hwitty?!"
"What is that cheese? It looks real."
*Talking to Asti* "I can just imagine you as a child! I bet you were quite repulsive!"
"If someone stood on front of me and announced 'SPINNING BIRD KICK!' I'd think holy shit!"
"Ohhh Trudi you are skilled in the Brotherhood of the Tongue….." Oh, thanks!
"Oh you little turds!!……no offense, Trudi." Tch.
"And she bought two kins of tatfood!"
"I could laugh all day at Snake getting knocked up!"
"I couldn't recover my composition!" That's a good thing ;)
"Oh your mum is a power slide!"
"Anything Astrid"
"Oh lum!"
"A scord called Scorcese!"
"Asti's book will be called Triumph Triumph Triumph!" It'll enter the bestseller list!
"You'd really linjoy it!" I bet I would!
"The new game, Enter the Brothel!"
"A Gult - a goat cult."
"Mr Kudoji?" - UROTSUKIDOJI!
"Madame Hellcast."
"I take exemption to that!" So would I!
"A tricycle is a 1-wheeled bike, and a 2-wheeled bike is called a duocycle." Yes we DID correct him David, tch!
"Chin! Ahhhhhhhh! He chinned everyone of us!" Sung to the Flash Gordon theme ;)
"Edge of the coin? Is that the local bus service in Nosgoth?!"
"Domino-flavoured pants." Mmmmm....
"Droppelganger."
"Cassic klitch." Classic kitsch!
"I'd get out of you!"
"Scrotum face!"
"Those'd make good bad guy names - Riff Raff and Scattercushion!"
"Nuthwing!"
"Really shame, innit?" Innit!
"Brian Flaccid." Brian Blessed!!!
"Prositute Island!"
"I can't stake it!!!"
"Christmas pumpkin!"
"The ultimate duet - David Bowie and Tim Curry duel-thrusting onstage." .......what a mental image!
"You married a can of Diet Coke in Las Vegas?" Says John in Kilroy voice
"I saw the white cliffs of Dover flying over!"
"Continuous botox pout!"
"Megnatic"
"The Phantom of the Opera is here, inside my mouth!" I don't wanna know….
"Welcome to the Pleasuredome, a.k.a. Trudi's room" Well if that's what they're calling it ;)
"Dominastrix! Dominate me, dominate me!"

LOUSE
"A glaff of water"
"Tellotape"
"I don't flirt, I attract"
"My blood keeps plumping!"
"We're gonna have a discucssion!" Yes we are!
"Like a bin of teens!" 'tin of beans', heheheh!
"Otopus!"
"Madam Buttery."
"I'll punch them in my face!!" Arghhh!
"We have checked your credentials and you may gain entrance to the pleasure dome!" YES!

DAD
"Smugging."
"Chip pork." He was trying to say East Portlemouth…….
*Points at bright orange star/light over the sea* "Maybe it's a blimp!"
"Sad and Riz." Raz and Cid!! They're our cats, get their names right!
"Ice pringle."
"Chicken wire neck, typical English" Harsh but true :P
"I've been in the pub with Pab."
"I recognise him! That's the little pygmy with the red beard!" Gimli from LOTR....
"Pork!" Orcs!
"Petrol" Cave troll!
"To the beach hut!" To the bridge of Khazad dum; he's deaf I tells ya!
"Christ! He looks like a titchy!" A what?
"That Julia Roberts looks like a skinny wrench!"
"Letchworth!" That is in fact an actual place! Would love to live there, to have on my address...
"3rd encounters of the 2nd kind"
"What about the bobbits?

MUM
"Gattlestar Ballatica"
"She's a witch in disguise!" Refering to an unnamed family member, ha! She's not in disguise...
"Blangladesh."
"Shall I make chocolate croissanqs?" If you want?
"Frozen animation"
"I'm going for a wee poncit" Good for you!
"The hills are alight with the sound of music!"

Louse and mum, what's going on?? C'mon women, get those tongues in gear! There's recently been complaints from those above that I haven't included myself on the list. Now now people, we all know I carefully think about what I choose to say, and ok, *sometimes* I might say the odd piece of rubbish, but nothing entertaining enough to go on here. :P So quiet! Or I'll take some awful pictures of you all and replace the above!!!! *Cracks whip*